How to Make Excuses that Stick | The Roundup without a Roundup

Dear reader,

Yesterday I failed to do a weekly roundup.  Here’s my list of excuses:

• Free internet in our hotel is available for a 15 minute blocks.  I didn’t think I could compose a decent post in 15 minutes.
• To get a day of internet at the hotel (via WiFi) would have cost me $27.50 per day.  Nothing I write is worth $27.50 – especially not a round up.
• I’m on vacation.  I spent 11 days away from my family and I’m enjoying spending time with them.
• I’m on vacation.  The sharks told me that if I didn’t give them proper attention at the Sydney Aquarium that they just might need to attack.  When sharks speak (or whatever they do), I listen.
• I’m tired.  I’m still jet lagging and coming off a very busy trip to Canada and the States.
• I’m having too much fun.  Why spoil a wonderful family vacation by blogging?
• When I checked my email at a free McDonalds hotspot yesterday, I only waited to get about 250 of my 550 emails.  Figuring out what to do with all those emails is overwhelming.  I’m thinking it is about time to teach my daughter where the “delete” button is and let her work on the computer.  If it’s important enough, they’ll email again – right?
• Finally, I’m on vacation.

Here’s how to make excuses stick:

Spend your time harping on the most emotional elements of an excuse.

Mention the family as much as possible (especially if you have young kids).

Focus on the most outrageous facts.

Never lie, but always exaggerate

Never, never, never let the recipient know that all you are doing is making excuses instead of offering valid reasons (do what I say, don’t do what I do).

All complaints because I didn’t post a round up can be emailed to mhfoc [at] gmail [dot] com.  Please be sure to send those emails before 6/8/10 as my daughter will be handling all my administrative emails for a short period of time.

Kind regards,

Craig